


Possible Side Effects May Include Loss of Inhibitions and Memory Loss

by LuluSoBlue



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Implied Capritello, Multi, Underage Drinking, and do something stupid, followed by unintentional stupid, in which April and Casey get pissed off at being left behind again, unintended underage drinking due to differing alien physiologies and unequipped translators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 23:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12119874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuluSoBlue/pseuds/LuluSoBlue
Summary: April and Casey are left behind on the Ulixes once more. Immensely annoyed and bored out of their minds, they decide to raid the fridge and stuff their faces with junk food. Things start getting weirder from there.





	Possible Side Effects May Include Loss of Inhibitions and Memory Loss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Werepirechick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/gifts).



> This was a one-shot I got an idea for a while ago and decided to type up as a birthday present for one of my lovely lovely friends. Happy Birthday, Spectrum! ...I tried with the Capritello for you. I... tried.

In her time aboard the Ulixes, April had learned that there was only so much that you could take from a two-page article about proper heatsink care for the guns mounted in your forearms. Today, it only takes two and a half paragraphs of such an article before she loses it and throws the latest issue of _Robot Health_ aside. Stupid turtles. Stupid Fugitoid. Stupid space racism.

Left behind. They were left behind again. _Again._ The turtles got to investigate a distress signal on a rogue planet with the professor while she and Casey, unfortunate enough to be humans, were _left behind. Again._ And what was their excuse? Because, "Traxcians despise terrans." Of course they did. Why should they cater to a cargo ship that needed rescuing anyway? They don't like terrans? Tough luck, they're coming to rescue you! But no. She and Casey were left behind to "guard the ship" as Leo had tried to negotiate. Exactly what did they expect them to do on the off chance their cloaking malfunctioned and they were found and boarded? Challenge intruders to a baseball game when Casey ran out of proton pucks? Pistol-whip a triceraton when April's gun inevitably ran out of charge?

This is all a load of bull. So much so that neither of them bother to wait in the cockpit this time. Leave two bored and angry teenagers alone on a spaceship? Fine. The turtles can go have fun rescuing some stranded thick-skulled rigid space racists. She and Casey can have their own fun with a massive TV and a food machine powered by imagination all to themselves and talk trash about talking turtles as much as they want.

...Maybe she shouldn't be so angry. She doesn't like being angry. She's not sure anyone really does. (Except maybe Raph but who knew with that hothead.) But April has been training her _ass_ off to catch up with her ninja friends, and she's been hitting more bullseyes than all of the boys put together. Not to mention Casey, who's been really invested with his photon pucks and figuring out the many variations of ammunition he can make of them. They're part of this team. They've worked _hard_ to prove how much they're a part of this team. And they're still left to guard a ship that doesn't need guarding. Way to make your friends feel important, guys. Stupid, stupid shell-headed guys.

There's a loud clinking over the sound of footsteps. Casey walks down the stairs from the "kitchen" to the lounging area with a massive load of food-loot. Bags and bags of snacks with alien-language packaging are barely tucked under his arms, and in each hand are about four spirally bottles of fizzing purple juice. He walks around the couch and stands in front of her with a massive and devious grin, a grin only hindered by the three bags dangling by their corners between his teeth.

"Is this all from the backup food store?" April asks, reaching up to catch the bags from Casey's mouth. She takes a closer look at the snacks even though there's not much point. Without her gear she can't translate any of these. "What happened to the "truckload of pizza" you were gonna cook up?"

"Magic machine's busted," Casey explains, lifting his arms and dumping the rest of the food on the couch and onto the floor.

"What did you do?"

Casey's hands snap up in front of him immediately, the bottles making concerning loud clinks as glass hits glass. "Nothing! I swear!" he exclaims in defence. All April does in response is raise an eyebrow. "...It was an accident."

April groans. " _Casey_."

"I didn't hit it or anything!" He carefully sets the bottles on the floor as he talks. "I just... there should be a warning on that thing. Doesn’t like it when you're pissed off, I guess."

The guilt radiates off him so strong that he could be glowing, but April also senses the truth in his words. She also knows Casey better than to just break stuff that wasn't his. On purpose. "What happened? Did it just refuse to make anything?"

"Nah, it... exploded? Food-exploded. Looked almost as bad as the garbage Mike thinks up. Had to hit the trash button before I barfed." He falls onto the other side of the pile opposite April and grabs a bag at random. "So I went and raided Fugidude's fridge stash."

April takes another look at the food pile. "How _much_ of it did you raid?"

"You hungry or not, Red?"

_"Jones."_

"Relax, it's only like a fifth of the stuff he's got crammed in there." Casey rips open his bag and plunges his hand in. "He said to use it if the vender fritzed, and it did, so _bon appetite_!" And he starts stuffing his face.

There's a couple snacks that April recognises from their alien movie night downtime. Veleran twistpuffs, some green tortilla-chip lookalikes that taste sort of like carrots... but everything else she isn’t entirely sure is edible. The professor _had_ reassured them his food purchases had revolved around their biology and nutritional needs, but April still exercises caution. Wait. Was that a ninja thing?

April snatches a bag of twistpuffs and digs in. Casey's right, she's hungry, so who cares?

After a few dry mouthfuls of crunchy alien pastry bites, April remembers the bottles and reaches down to grab one. Trying to read the label does as much good as it had done for the snack bags. "Any idea what this stuff even is?"

Casey eyes the bottle and shrugs. "Purple?"

"Top notch deduction there."

He smirks and takes a bottle off the floor himself. He unscrews the bizarre looping lid and takes a sniff. "...Huh."

"What?"

"Smells like orange. Go figure." He holds his bottle out. "Cheers?"

April smiles and unscrews her own bottle. "Here's to our brave friends, fighting tooth and shell to save the universe without us."

"Assholes."

April clinks her bottle with Casey's. "Huge gaping _assholes_."

 

* * *

 

Four bottle of purple stuff and a mish-mash of alien junk food later, the two of them are crashing on the couch passing a fifth bottle of purple stuff between them. There's a warbling in the background as a quarrian opera concert plays on the TV, but they're too busy talking shit about their human-abandoning _friends_ to appreciate it or question how they ended up watching it in the first place.

"And then he's all, 'you stay out here,'" Casey says in as gruff a voice as he can manage, puffing his chest out and giving it a pound. "'I don' wanna hafta pull you out of trouble like always!'"

"Ass!" April cuts in, maybe a little louder than she had meant, as she takes the bottle Casey offers for her swig. "So what happened?"

"Sooo Raph goes in all 'sneaky sneaky' into their den, 'cause he's a ninja or whatever." Casey pauses to make air quotes. "And then he trips over something."

" _Nooo_!"

Casey gestures wildly above his head. "I can hear all this shit crashing around and Raph's all yelly and making noise... total, like, wipeout." He takes the bottle of purple stuff that April offers and takes a quick swig. "Squirrellers are hoarders, I guess."

"Squirrela- _noids_ ," April corrects, stuffing another handful of durinan bites into her mouth. "'s 'mportan'."

" _Right_." Casey takes another swig from his bottle and offers it to April. "Want some?"

"Eh, I'll give it a try." April accepts it and takes a cautious sip. "...Mmm. Tastes like orange."

"Cool." Casey pulls his legs up to get into a crouch on the couch. "So... so I manage to catch one of those things off guard and - WHAM! - I knock out the nut-muncher before it can get away! Like, I do all the work, while Raph-" he points at the stairs leading out of the lounge, "-is just too busy climbing out of this pile of junk. A buncha shit that just 'came out of nowhere' he says."

"Ass!" April cuts in, maybe a little louder than she had meant, as she takes a swig of purple stuff.

"I know! Like I told him not to go charging in there, like... like he's a ninja for chrissake! Go in there all sneaky like a ninja!" Casey shakes his head. "I swear I'm always pullin' that guy out of trouble."

" _Uuuuugh_." April hands the bottle to Casey for him to try the purple stuff. "Ninjas _suck_. Glad I'm not one."

"Word." Casey takes a sniff of the bottle. "Orange. Cool."

"So what happened to the... the..." April taps her forehead as she tries to recall the name Mikey gave them. "...the... Squirreller!"

Casey gives her a blank stare as he finishes his bottle of purple stuff. "What's a Squirreller?"

"...I dunno." They stare at each other for a while. "What were we talking about again?"

"Fuck if I know."

April stuffs a handful of durinan bites in her mouth. They were tasty, but she didn't know how dry they were. "We got anything to drink?"

"Uuuh..." Casey looks at the empty packets around them before he spies something on the floor with an _Aha!_ and picked up a strange, spirally-shaped bottle with some kind of purple stuff inside.

April gives it a frown. "Any idea what this stuff even is?"

Casey eyes the bottle and shrugs. "Purple?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

He smirks and hands another bottle off the floor to April. He unscrews the bizarre looping lid of his own and takes a sniff. "...Huh."

"What?"

"Smells like orange. Go figure." He holds his bottle out. "Fancy a toast?"

April smiles and unscrews her own bottle. "Here's to... ugh... the crew!" She smiles and takes a look around, but her smile dims as she sees they're the only ones there. "Hey... where _is_ everyone?"

Casey takes a look himself and shrugs. "Fuck if I know."

"...Do you think they went on a mission... without us?"

They stare at each other for a while. Soon they have angry glares that mirror each other as they realise what's going on.

"I bet they _did_."

"Assholes!"

Casey holds out his bottle of orange-smelling purple stuff. "Here's to assholes!"

April clinks her bottle with Casey's. "Huge gaping _assholes_!"

 

* * *

 

Two bottles of purple stuff and three bags of alien junk food later, the two are lounging around surrounded by empty wrappers and bags. Casey is flopped along the couch, using April's lap as a pillow while she absentmindedly plays with his hair, when he asks something that's been playing in his mind over and over for the past year.

"Do you like me?"

"Of course I do, Casey. Who wouldn't?"

"No, I mean... _like_ me. Like... the _next_ kind of like after the first kind."

"...oh."

Casey rolls over onto his back so he can look up at her. Her brow is crinkling and she's avoiding looking at him. "...You don't like me."

"Don't say that!" Now she looks down, but it's when she's giving his chest a slap. Her frown dies quickly after a few moments, though, and she turns her head away again. "It's... 's compli... com... _tricky_."

"Why?"

"Because... it is."

There's a long pause of silence after that. Only the sound of canned sitcom laughter fills the area from the TV. April still plays with his hair with one hand but she won't look back down.

And Casey finally says what he's been thinking. "You like Donnie _more_ than me." He feels her hand freeze in his hair and watches her face carefully. She looks surprised, but she still doesn't look back down at him. "Don't you?"

"..."

"I knew it." He turns away to look at the TV, but he doesn't really watch it. "Figures."

"Well... why are you asking n... _now_ anyway?" April asks. It's Casey's turn not to look at her. "Why not... I dunno... on Earth?"

"'cause you stopped hangin' with me."

"Did not."

"Did _too_." Casey pulls himself up from her lap and shuffles away from her. He slouches, arms crossed, and glares at her. "We hanged a couple times and then nothin'."

April glares back at him. "Well... _you_ should ask!"

"...What?"

"Y- _you_ -" April leans over and points a finger right in his face, "-you _always_ say 'dur hey let's hang out' and I say 'ok cool'-" and now she jabs a thumb at herself, "-but then I have to hear you say shit like, 'why's _Irma_ crashing our date' or 'three's a crowd' or... or... whatever!" She growls and sweeps the empty food packets off the couch and all over the floor. "You never _ask_!"

"Yeah I d-"

"No you _don't_!" This time the packets are swept up and around the place without April touching them. "You just... you just say 's a date but you don't ask me on a real date! I like _you_ so why don't _you_ like _me_?!"

Casey loses his glare. He's pretty sure his eyes hurt from how wide they are but for some reason he can't be sure. "...You like me?"

"Yes I d-do," April stammers, leaning over and slapping his shoulder lightly. " _You're_ the one who doesn't like me."

"That's stupid. 'course I like ya, Red."

She pouts at him and folds her arms. "Then... then why don't you ask me out, like, like, 'April, you wanna go?'" She looks around at all of the food packets that are falling from the ceiling - wait where had they come from? - before she looks back at him and adds, "'-on a date with me?' 's not that hard, Jones."

Casey catches one of the falling packets only to find it empty before he tosses it at the floor. "But what if you say - say no?"

"You won't know unless you _try_ , Casey." She frowns at him and sits up. "You feeling ok?"

"I... think so? Why?"

"You're all wobbly 'n shit. You tired?"

"Uuuuuhhh..." Casey holds up his hand in front of him and sees how floppy it is. He tries to focus on it but everything is so fuzzy and spinny and how long had he been like this? "Holy shit. I guess?"

"C'mere," April says, patting her lap. "You should... should take a nap or s'mething."

"On you?"

"'sno pillows. C'mooon."

Casey hesitates before crawling across the couch and laying down, resting the side of his head in April's lap. He didn't expect to end up using April as a pillow while she played with his hair but that's what was happening now.

There's some kind of alien sitcom on TV with canned laughter every few seconds, but neither of them are really watching. They probably won't get the jokes anyway. After a while Casey asks something that's been playing in his mind over and over for the past year.

"Hey Red."

"Hm?"

"You wanna go on a date some time?"

"...What?"

Casey rolls onto his back so he can look up at her. "A date. Y'know, like a _date_ date."

April looks down at him, surprised. Great. She's gonna say no, isn't she? Fuck, why did he think to ask that all of a sudden?

But then she smiles, shrugs, and says, "Sure, why not?"

"Really?"

April's smile gets wider and she looks more relaxed. "Mm-hmm."

"Oh... cool."

"Why'd you ask now?"

"Dunno. Just thought it." He shrugs.

"Weird." April takes a look around them and frowns. "Woooaaah. Place is a mess."

Casey takes a glance himself and groans. "Bet it was the guys. And betcha _we_ have to clean it up for 'em."

April growls and shakes her head. "Assholes."

"Huge gaping _assholes_."

She snickers at his comment and starts playing with his hair. "Couldn't agree more."

They're like that for a while, Casey lying on the couch using April's lap as a pillow while she absentmindedly plays with his hair. Some alien sitcom with canned laughter playing on the TV, probably with jokes that would fly over their heads. Then Casey asks something that's been playing in his mind over and over for the past year.

"Hey, April."

"Hmm?"

"Do you like Donnie?"

She raises a brow and smirks. "Why're you asking, Jones?"

"Like... do you _like_ like him? Like, the next level of _like_ , y'know?"

April's smirk fades away. She hesitates and looks up, avoiding eye contact. "It's... 's compli... com... _tricky_."

Casey frowns. "Why not? I like him."

Her head snaps back down and her eyes go wide. "What?"

"I said _I_ like him. How come you don't?"

" _I_ do. When did _you_ start liking him?"

Casey shrugs. "I dunno, I jus'... started liking him?"

He watches April's reaction. She's still surprised. Then she pouts a little. "Aw. Thought you liked me."

"I... do?" Casey gestures with his hands but he doesn't really know what he's trying to get across. "I guess I like you... both? I mean what about you?"

"I..." April frowns. He's not sure what she's focusing on, but it's not his face. "I... dunno. I guess?"

"Knew it."

"Shaddup." She slaps his chest lightly as he smirks up at her. "I mean... hey, you like me?"

"Yup."

"Then how come you never asked me out?"

That question draws a blank. Casey stares up at her, thinking and thinking... but he can't think of a reason why he's never asked her out before. Why was that? "...You wanna go out, Red?"

"Don't ask me _now_!" She slaps his chest lightly as he smirks up at her. "'s not a surprise!"

"Cool, then I'll ask later."

"Good." April starts playing with Casey's hair, then after some moments of quiet she adds, "And, yes, I like you both. Something wrong with that?"

"Nope."

"Good."

They're like that for a while, Casey lying on the couch using April's lap as a pillow while she absentmindedly plays with his hair. The jolly-sounding credits of an alien sitcom plays on TV, and Casey feels a little glum that he hasn't been paying attention to it. Then Casey asks something that's been playing in his mind over and over for the past year.

"Yo, Ape."

"Uh-huh?"

"Y'know how you always let Irma tag along on our dates an-"

" _What_ dates?" she interrupts with a smirk.

" _Ahem_." He raises a finger to boop her nose gently. "Y'know when ya let Irma join our hang outs bef-fore she turned out to be... to be a robot body with a squishy brain th-that sounded like a parrot?"

"Yeeeaaah?"

Casey watches her face to gauge her reaction - confused and cautious right now - before he finally asks, "Did you like Irma? Like... _like_ like her?"

 

* * *

 

Donnie feels like hell. Worse than hell. He feels like _shit_. His head hurts and the floor feels like it's moving underneath him and his mouth tastes like the chewed end of a pencil. Traxcian thank-yous involved... ugh... _saliva exchange_ , as the professor had put it. Frenching was apparently a gesture of gratitude because of something to do with strengthening immune systems and... _ugh_. (He hated to think of what their idea of intimacy was.)

Donnie's experience of being hero-for-a-day is not as pleasant as he had hoped it would be. But it's better than his brothers'.

The rogue planet turned out to be home to alien creatures that emitted a spectrum of colour to ward off predators. A spectrum that somehow managed to confuse and reprogram their brains, and now they're all, as Raph would put it, "fucked up in the head".

Leo's dragging himself along the floor, unable to move or feel his legs. Mikey's got the opposite problem; he can't move or feel his arms, with the bonus of not being able to lift his head properly. And Raph is repeatedly walking into the wall, unaware he isn't making any progress to the med bay. The only bright side to this is that they're alive and somewhat still aware of themselves. The professor's fascination with the lengths those iridescent creatures' abilities could go to are way, way worse.

"I want. To die." Leo faceplants into the floor as he finally finishes crawling out of the airlock, as none of them are really steady enough to lend a hand. Mikey is humming in agreement as he waddles alongside their literally fallen leader. And he keeps humming in agreement. Unable to stop.

"Pffft, you guys are all-" Raph walks into another wall, "-such fuckin'-" and he walks into it again, "- _pansies_." And he walks into it again.

Donnie holds his head in his hands. He's not sure how lucky he is that he spent more time fixing an overheated engine than defending a cargo ship. He'd love to be blissfully unaware of how much his head is throbbing.

"Right, that is the - blip! - scout ship docked and locked!" Fugitoid emerges from the airlock himself and it shuts as he walks to Raph's side. "Now to take care of your... coordination difficulties."

"My coor-" _thud_ "-dination abili-" _thud_ "- are just-" _thud_ "-fine!" Raph snaps back. Regardless of his protest, Fugitoid carefully takes Raph's shoulders and starts guiding him down the hallway. Donnie can't help but snicker at how much his brother stumbles over his confused feet.

"Calm down, Raphael. You'll be perfectly fine, all of you." Fugitoid's head spins around to face the rest of them. "With the footage saved from your visors, I'm ninety-eight percent positive that I can recalibrate my brain scanner in the med bay and reverse what the fluorescelli have done."

Leo groans as he pushes himself back up off of the floor. "What's the remaining two percent?"

"Well - _blip!_ \- on the off chance it doesn't work, I may have to resort to cybernetic implants. But no need to worry! I'm fully eq-" Fugitoid briefly gets stuck on his sentence, "eq-eq-equipped for such surgeries! Should be a doddle!"

The brief panic is so thick in the air that Donnie thinks he could break his bo on it.

Leo groans again and waves up at Donnie. "Could you... gimme a hand Dee?"

"Sure I-" Donnie yelps as he wobbles and has to grab onto the wall to keep himself from falling. His legs shake like the he hasn't walked in fifty years. "...Mmmaybe not. Sorry Leo."

"Gah, it's fine." Leo makes to start crawling when he's suddenly yanked back and spun around. Donnie watches as Mikey, head lolling and lifeless arms dangling, starts dragging Leo's foot by his mouth. Leo and Donnie exchange a look as Mikey continues to hum in agreement from earlier. "...well ok then. Uh, thanks Mikey." And Mikey's hum gets just a little louder for just a moment. "You coming, Donnie?"

"Yeah, I'll... I'll be there in a minute." Donnie slowly starts to edge his way along the wall, watching where he places his feet carefully. "I'm gonna see if I can find April and Casey and give them an update."

"Just be careful."

"I will."

"You don't wanna make your new _boyfriend_ worry!"

"Shut UP!" Donnie yells down after him, cheeks flaring as the muffled sound of Mikey's laughter follow's Leo's own chuckle. Donnie's reminded of the taste of chewed pencils in his mouth and makes a mental note to knock his big brother upside the head if the professor's treatment works.

It's a while before Donnie gets to the cockpit, only to find it completely empty. He hums in concern before he thinks of where else they might be. Of course they wouldn't wait around in the cockpit with nothing happening. They're probably watching TV in the rec room.

As he makes another long and slow trip against the wall of a hallway, Donnie thinks about how bad their friends must feel. They were _never_ happy being left behind on a mission, but what else can they do? Casey is completely human, and April's skills may have improved but she is just as mortal as Casey. It's a risk Leo isn't all that prepared to make as leader, and Donnie can't really disagree. He worries about them. Maybe too much, but humans weren't fast healers and didn't have their internal organs guarded by natural armour.

After the excitement of space died down, the site of friends and loved ones getting pulled into nothing and the pressure of a countdown to destruction was weighing on all of them. It sucked hard.

Donnie finally makes it to the door to the rec room and fumbles with the control panel next to it. As soon as he gets the door panel open, he hears Casey's loud voice coming from down in the lounging area.

"C'mooon, just tell me!"

"No fucking way, Jones!"

Donnie frowns as he shuffles along. It wasn't like April to swear, at least not around any of them. He feels the guilt as he considers how she's angrier about the situation than he expected.

"Y-you can't not tell me!"

"I won't tell _you_ 'til _you_ tell- tell _me_!"

"Not gonna shaddup about this, are you?"

He reaches the top of the stairs and shuffles around. Casey and April are down below, crashing on the couch, with a huge mess of empty snack packs and wrappers all over the place. And then-

"Just say it! Wouldya eat out Irma's pink tentacle brain-pussy if she wasn't a parrot-dude?"

"Fine! I would! And would _you_ suck off Donnie's green turtle-dick?"

"Fuck yeah, I would!"

And that's when Donnie completely floored. Figuratively and literally. He loses his balance out of shock and the next thing Donnie knows is that he's rolling down the stairs. He lands in flat on his shell at the bottom of the staircase and groans loudly.

He _can't_ have said that. _Casey can't have said that._ This had to be some hallucination, or a side-effect of the fluorescelli's defence tactics.

There's a shuffling from above. Donnie opens his eyes to see Casey, slouched over the back of the couch as he takes a swig from an odd-looking bottle.

"S'up, Dee?" Casey wipes something purple from his mouth and squints down at him. "Hey... d'ya mind if I ask s'methin'?"

By some miracle Donnie is able to scramble up the stairs and out of the rec room despite currently having the walking skills of a toddler.

 

* * *

 

"Aw, man," Casey grumbles, taking a swig from the bottle of purple stuff he finds in his hand. "I wanted to ask him somethin'."

April looks up from her own bottle. "Ask who?"

Casey blinks and looks at her, confused. "Ask who what?"

 

* * *

 

Leo can't believe what he's hearing. Drunk. April and Casey somehow managed to get drunk. And they got drunk on D'Hoonib Fizz. _Soda_.

Leo's taking some bed rest of his own after having a series of coloured lights shot into his eyes, trying not to look too amused by the state of his friends. April's sitting up at least, cradling her head in one hand and nursing a medicated glass of water with the other. Casey's on the bed next to Leo, the boy's face shoved into his pillow to block out all light as he moans and groans his headache away.

Fugitoid is inputting the next series of lights for Mikey, double-checking between the interface of the scanner and the holopad of data. "I still cannot bel- _bleep bloop!_ \- believe how that fizz affected you two!" The lights of his eyes form a sad shape as he looks back over at the beds. "I really thought I had cross-referenced all possible health hazards for human physiology!"

"It's... it's ok, professor," April says quietly, taking a sip of water. "We... really shouldn't have gone on a binge like that."

"Oh, not at all! D'Hoonib Fizz tends to increase one's appetite, even for us D'Hoonibians!" He makes a few more blips and bleeps as he enters a few more commands for Mikey's treatment. "It appears that - blip! - the fizz just has more... advanced effects on Humans in comparison."

"Advanced?" Raph scoffs from the examination table, trying to sit up. His arm slips out from under him and he lands flat on his shell yet again and grumbles for a moment. "You guys were _wasted_ when Fugitoid had to drag you up here!"

Casey lifts his pillow enough to glare out at Raph. "W... were _not_."

"Casey, you asked me if I thought you were still pretty enough for me to take to prom."

"...Shaddup." Casey returns to the shelter of the pillow. "Uuuuuugh... I _feel_ like a hangover _looks_."

"Ditto," April agrees, taking another careful sip of water.

Leo tries to hide his smile, conflicted by his amusement and his genuine sympathy for their friends. At least they knew to stay away from the fizz now. "Sooo, what did you guys do while you were soda-drunk, anyway?"

The humans don't answer. They look like they're wracking their brains for some kind of answer but Leo can tell nothing's coming to them. There's a long pause as the sounds of the brain scanner start up and Mikey yelps at the first round of lights from inside the helmet.

"I don't know," and "No fucking clue," are all the two can say for themselves at last.

Leo shakes his head. It's at this point he's noticed that Donnie is mysteriously missing from the med bay.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue how to write drunk people. I decided to go for confused people that are also vaguely drunk. Don't drink underage kids. Read the label. Avoid alien creatures that defend themselves with brightly coloured lights. Eat your vegetables. Good night.
> 
> I tried.


End file.
